Hey all,

I have been taking Lithium for a year, at an eventual dose of 1200mg (probably been on 1200mg for at least 9 months). I stopped taking Lithium suddenly on 1/23 because I was afraid that I was toxic on lithium, and then when I went to the ER and they said I wasn't toxic, I was afraid I was pregnant. Today I know for sure I'm not pregnant.

I need to be on lithium. It is the only medication that has worked properly for me, and I am manic, and the only way I'm not thinking I am a faerie princess or a unicorn right now is that I have some left over Seroquel from a while ago, which for reasons I don't want to go in to, I'd rather not take unless it's absolutely necessary. Which it is right now. Because words are spilling out of my mouth and causing harm as it is.

Before every single person says that I should talk to my pdoc, I KNOW, and I WILL. However, I don't have an emergency number for her, or an email, and she only works at my clinic on Mondays and Tuesdays, and I am NOT willing to talk to the "on call" psychiatrist for her patients or whatever. Tomorrow I am planning to go in to the clinic and see if I can twist the arm of the office people to send her an email or a call or something that will tell her to call me so I can talk to her. (since I sincerely doubt that they would just give me an email or a phone number without some sort of consent from her)

So for all of your posts, I am assuming an addendum of "I'm not a pdoc and you should talk to yours" so feel free to leave that off.

OK. So. I thought it would be fine to just start taking it again, taper up. My initial plan was to ask you all how to taper it up properly so I could just conceal this from my pdoc and never tell anyone it happened and everyone would be happy. Then I searched on the internets and found out that if you stop suddenly IT MAY NOT WORK ANY MORE.

I'M FREAKING OUT.

HELP ME.

I took 300mg a few hours ago when my plan was just to taper up.

What do I do? (BESIDES HUNTING DOWN PDOC)

If I can't find my pdoc tomorrow, or get in contact with her, can I take 600mg? Can I take 1200mg (my old normal dose)? Should I not take any lithium at all?

I called my previous pdoc, because I still have an emergency number for him from before I moved, and he told me he wouldn't answer any questions because I needed to talk to my own pdoc. When I told him that she was only in on Mondays and Tuesdays and I didn't have an emergency contact, he said to talk to the pdoc on call.

Here's why I can't talk to the pdoc on call: I HATE ANSWERING ENDLESS QUESTIONS and I know from experience that talking to the pdoc on call requires lots and lots of explaining things that your normal pdoc already knows without even thinking about it. If I talked to the pdoc on call, I would yell at them. If I was in the same physical space with them, I would probably physically hurt them. I can't do that.

Can you help me?

I'm cross posting this on Psychiatric Medications and Bipolar forums.