It sounds like there is a lot going on, and he may be depressed, like you said. Unfortunately, he has to take responsibility for himself and seek help if he feels he needs it.

I understand the ambivalence...it's tough to take a stand and follow through after so many years. I've been married 25 years! But I am not happy in my marriage, my needs are not being met, and my husband is unable to meet them...his words! So I feel like I don't have a choice!