Because of past alcohol and drug abuse no one would give me benzos so I have a new fam doc because my old one retired. So when I explained my anxiety he thought giving me a benzo would be good and I was so happy to be heard. Then he asked the dreaded question and I lied and said i socially drink. I've had benzos in the past and never abused them, one pill is plenty for squashing the anxiety.

I went to the psych today too and she basically said I'm not med compliant so come back when things get bad again. I also saw the therapist today and she got me to fill out a 300+ questionnaire to figure out a disgnoses. I've been told I have bipolar, bpd and ptsd. I only fully relate well with the ptsd as my moods, yes unprovoked, only last long with depression but the "hypomania" only lasts in tiny spurts. Bpd I can relate a little but from my understanding splitting is kind of a trademark and I see all grey matters after restless hours of pondering every scenario possible. Plus I'm not afraid of being alone and don't try to avoid it at all. Plus the chronic emptiness isn't something I feel. But the reckless spending and speeding and fluctuations in eating with crazy rage at times makes me fit into those symptoms. So hopefully this will be my final diagnoses. I know ur only supposed to be concerned with symptoms not labels but I'm very curious anyways.