I can relate to a lot of what you're saying.
First off my benzo usually helps curb the desire to drink. But I don't know how much you drink or if it's been a bad problem.
Also I'm so curious about dx's. I don't fit any of them perfectly. So they tell me don't worry treatment is working. It kind of frustrates me. Like so what do I really have? Maybe I'll never know. Maybe they don't have a name for it yet... Ugh I feel ya