So sorry to hear of the torment you have been through, and are still going through. I really hope you can find a way to make new friends where you live but for now we are here for you as much as we can be online. Are you seeing a therapist? I have been through multiple trauma's and found only years of therapy with a trauma expert brought real change and relief from the awful symptoms of PTSD.

Are you still in contact with your friends in another state? Could you talk to them on the phone more often, or at least when you are feeling particularly bad? It is bad enough dealing with mental illness but having to deal with it all alone is incredibly tough.