hey. i'm impressed that your therapist can sit there with you and let you be quiet if that is what you need to do.

a lot of people are unsure what they are meant to be doing in therapy. look to their therapist for cues for what they are meant to be doing. i do that a lot.

what is he doing when you are sitting there struggling with yourself? when you are feeling disgust in particular. what is he doing? do you get any sense from him that 'its okay i see that you are struggling and i'm here'. or do you get any sense of him feeling the disgust with you? i mean... i know he isn't saying anything and you aren't saying anything... but i'm wondering whether there is some non-verbal communication going on.

i've read of therapies where the client was silent for months. months. during that time the client was starting to feel a little more comfortable a little more emotionally held. a little safer. then the talking just came.

i'm sure the talking will come when you are ready.

if it is feeling excruciating though and you aren't really getting a sense of emotional connection or soothing from him then could you ask him to be a little more directive with asking you questions and stuff? you could write it on a bit of paper and give it to him if you like.

it IS hard.

hang in there sweetie.