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Gemstone said:
I've only recently ever had an orgasm.

I feel shameful even talking about this. I'm not sure why I am talking about this.

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I don't know if I have any place saying this, but ... you HAVE had an orgasm ... perhaps that is the start of better experiences for you ...? Some women never have one at all apparently!

I think you are amazing to have got through what you describe ...

One thing for me, I had a bad experience dont ask but i was travelling at the time and ummm when i got home i slept with a friend ... who i had had sex on and off with for what is now 10 years (when neither of us have been attached) and known since we were both 14 years old. And that was wonderful because it was someone I trusted ... I know you are married and it is a completely different situ, but just to share my experience I guess ... once you get trust back (or perhaps get trust in the first place for you) then it all gets a lot easier ...
maybe...

ahh but never feel ashamed. EVER.

like KD said, that's the point of this forum ...