people suck, those that are nice, i question. people i have never met, hurt me...why? I'm a target, it doesn't matter where i am. the saying, I've been picked out to be picked on. I pinch myself just to see if i am really here am i a ghost. if i am real, then what makes me so un-love-able, un-touch-able? why am i rejected so easily? 50 years, of the same old crap, and you know what hurts the most? just as i forgive, just as things seem to be turning around, just as i take a second breath....pow! i get the crap kicked out of me, i get slapped back to the real reality. the only reason i am still here, is because of my love for God, i'm starting to feel that he has forsaken me.