Hi, I am really struggling today with my depression and really need some help. I'm not suicidal. I have been depressed all of my life, and I will try to make the long story short.

So, I am now 25, male, I live in AZ. I have struggled with depression all of my life. I have always been extremely shy. I have no friends and never have had any real friends to speak of. I have terrible communication skills but I am competent, I don't have any neurological problems.

Ever since I was little, I always wanted to have a girlfriend. I wanted that close relationship of a life partner. I went through all of my days of school and college and my first job without one. Most of the time I was depressed because I knew my chances of ever finding a girl to be with were extremely low because of my shyness and extremely low self-esteem. I simply had 0 confidence in myself, and it just kept getting worse and worse. I finally started going to therapy when I was 23. Last year, I was able to find the love of my life and I thought that was all I needed to be happy. Well, I am still depressed.

I guess some of it is because since I wasn't able to have a girlfriend most of my younger years, I would see others that were happy with theirs and be jealous, and I was extremely desperate to find one. I always felt I was never good enough to be with anyone, and I still don't feel that I am good enough for my girl now. I think she is beautiful. And she is extremely forgiving of my flaws. We both love each other and she has told me she would like to be with me forever, and I would like to be with her forever, but it isn't fair to her that I am depressed because it brings her down with me.

I don't know what to do, can I be truly happy? I mean, I enjoy my girlfriend very much, but I keep worry about my past or what could happen in the future, and I can't seem to enjoy being in the moment with my girl. I need help