Thank you for your inspiration. I also have lived with suicidal feelings my whole life. Just these days seem stronger. I also know the point on when its time to go get help. But I am struggling if I want help. I have fought the battle so long, tried everything and still after years and years I feel like I back where I started, maybe with more knowledge but unable to put to use.

Today I wanted to be a good day as tomorrow I am faced with a huge trigger for me that I have no choice but to face.

Again thank you for your incite