Hi passher3y, firstly I'm sorry you're struggling/so stressed
Noticed that you're fairly new here so maybe the problems you've been having with posting is because new members first 5 (?) posts go into moderation before they appear on here and sometimes that may take a little time. If you stick around though I'm sure you'll see the real benefits of that- gets rid of spammers.
So you've found a really good site for understanding and support, lot of great people on here...........if you just want to give posting another try, adding some details.........and give us a chance to try to help you.

Alison