I've been going through a hellish week. I've been so depressed, down and out of it, my flame is burning out
I've been seeing my therapist, taking my medication, yet nothing is helping me and having hardly anyone around me who understands and saying I should just get over myself is not helping, either. My Body Dysmorphic Disorder is really getting the best of me. I feel like the ugliest person to walk the earth. Everyone says it's sounds retarded, and it may, but I just can't help it.
I try everything possible to help myself, but my mind just wanders back into it's patter of this negative thinking. Along with my BDD, OCD, depression, and rage (if that isn't enough) I suffer with cluster headaches. I'm only 23, and I can't believe all this BS that I'm going through.
It interferes with my studies, my social life, my fiance isn't much help, anymore, he seems to want to blame me for this.
I can't look in the mirror, for fear of a BDD attack, because I think I am hideous.
I've had feeling of suicide, self injury because the pain is unbearable, and with hardly any support (therapist, I know all they care about is the money) it's hard to keep going strong.
My fiance gets mad at me when I feel down about myself, and when I'm having an anxiety attack. He says I have a retarded thinking pattern, and that I inflict this on myself (yeah right, like I chose to be raped and to despise myself). He just doesn't understand, that when he tells me that, it doesn't help at all.
I just wanted to vent, as I am having another bad day.
Maybe someone out there can give me a few tips on how to help myself in other ways, of if anyone else is going through similar things like this.