Hello (((YODA))).
I am sorry that you are struggling at this time with your moods and your losses. I like the suggestion above from (((DIRECTION))) to call a therapist to help you through this rough time you are having at this time. Perhaps joining a support group will help you I attend NAMI and DBSA groups and that helps at times when you feel no one understands and you feel alone. I know that exercise (walking and singing) have helped me tremendously with self esteem issues. Also watching comedies seem to help as well. I hope things get better for you soon (((YODA))). Soidhonia