A strange day of downs, then ups, then downs, then pumped up.

Down number 1. I did some work that needed approval from my old boss. He insisted on my filling in a load of unnecessary paperwork to accompany it. I knew he was petty but I didn't think he was quite that retentive.

Down number 2. I had to request some data from my old boss, the request was on behalf of a third party. Anticipating his retentive need for form filling, I completed the paperwork to accompany the request. I was simply trying to help and make things run smoother for him and more importantly the third party who is quite a senior person and shouldn't be wasting time on filling in forms for a petty little bureaucrat. My old boss then fired off a response to my new boss telling her I must not under any circumstance do any work for the third party or share any information with them. WTF I was only trying to help, I had no intention of doing the work.

Up number 1: My new boss emailed me to ask if I was alright, and to reassure me that I hadn't done anything wrong and that old boss was being unreasonable.

Up number 2: New boss copied me in to her reply to old boss, it was scathing.

Down number 3: Therapy was really upsetting

Up number 3: I saw my psych nurse straight after therapy and she made me laugh and she worked really hard on soothing me and working on my self esteem and for once I started to believe her.

Pumped up: All the changes of mood have left me with racing thoughts and I'm finding it hard to settle down.

I don't often write about ups, they are very hard to recognise when depressed. I do now have a bit more belief that old boss is a piece of work and I don't owe him any loyalty.

In between all of this I did send an email to HR about my job asking for more time on the decision I have to make, not quite the grand meeting I was planning but the second step in the right direction.