I hope this whole thing doesn't come off as TMI. I am not your husband, nor have I ever been married for 30 years, but I am someone who lives with the reality of sexual dysfunction. I love my fiance more than anything in this world, and I am sexually attracted to him, but most of the time, I am unable to get myself into the mindset of having sex. It wasn't like this in the beginning of our relationship; we had a health sex life. But after some time, something changed in me. It has nothing to do with my fiance- it is completely my body and my mind. My body does not have the urge to have sex. In fact, it rejects the idea of it most of the time. If he asks me if I feel like trying, my mind and body immediately shut it out for some reason and become really uncomfortable. It makes me turn away from him and then feel guilty for doing so, but even that guilt isn't enough to find that desire (he never makes me feel guilty, I just do). But here's the thing- porn is fine to me. I know that I have a "sex drive" because I can watch porn and be turned on by it, I can masturbate without issues. And I do. Regularly. I don't know why my body and mind are so turned off by the process of sex most of the time, but it is frustrating for me to know that he sees this too and is confused by it. The best thing I could figure out to do about it was talk to him. Having that conversation was so beneficial, to me and to him. He got the relief of knowing that he wasn't doing anything wrong, and we're now able to talk about it openly and deal with it head on. We're still in the process of learning to deal with it. I think you should sit down with your husband and calmly bring your concerns up with him. I doubt it has anything at all to do with you- it's probably something inside of him that is confusing him as well. Find out what he has to say about it, and go from there. I hope you find some comfort soon, friend.