Eva Star:
luckily, he NEVER reacts like this when the children are around... (maybe aldo that is why it has downescalated)

and one of my weaknesses: I do love the part of him that is not damaged. I see that he desperately tries to get help but "chickens out" in fear of what work will say and other...
And, I am not able to leave anyone, my selfesteem is to low...

This is the last part i am working with.
But i am honestly afraid that if i go
1) he'll drink himself to death (being alcohol or help fixing this)
2) he'll jump on antoher woman totally happy i am gone (thats my faulty brain right here)
3) he wont get help, and i know he needs me.

It is so hard feeling this imensly need to help him, because he has taken small steps since i got help, and being this honestand wounerable

I really think he has a mental probelm, IO got him now to promise to seek help
It is a big step. I am amazed. Becaue this is the first time he has sent me an sms (almost a day later) telling me "yes, i know i need help, this time i will do it, i wont let me chixken out"

I got this now...
he isat work still, is working late today (1 every moth)