** Trigger warning **






Do not read this if you are feeling unstable or you get upset easily.





HISTORY: I have one suicide attempt in 2014, and numerous attempts back in 2010.

I am now on several meds and I have had some "better" days lately. So, I do kind of think the meds are working - but then I still have bad days too (dark days is what I call them)..... But I had been feeling like I finally broke out of my depression that had me in a very bad place (mentally) for several years.

SITUATION: Okay, that all said.... I was driving home from work on Tuesday. Kind of just zoning out as I drove. Mentally numb. When my subconscious saw an area in the construction zone that I was driving through that was a great place to crash my car (and I sort of remember thinking - F*** it). My subconscious started veering toward the wall....... My conscious mind SNAPPED back and I jerked my car back into its lane and safely drove home.

But this concerns me.

Is my depression coming back?

Do I have these mental vacations often?? And if so, am I putting anyone else at risk?

Should I be worried??

THOUGHTS?