Different people grow up at different rates. And perhaps different rates for different things... I don't know what kind of background you are from, with respect to what your caregivers did for a living... But I suspect you don't exactly come from a professional background and probably haven't had much in the way of nurturing to help you find something that is a good fit for you.

You clearly aren't stupid. You are articulate and intelligent. That isn't the problem...

But you are also clearly not a good fit for where you are now. Maybe in a few years you would want to do something like what you are doing now... Or maybe in a few years you would like to try a different kind of an educational program... It isn't working out for you now, though.

I think you know that things need to change. But change can be scary.

Do you have any idea of something that you might like to do? Not forever... But something...