Sometimes when there are good things going for us in life, it's scary to imagine losing them, letting someone down, turning out to be a 'fraud' if I don't live up to an expectation (mine or someone else's)...it also takes a lot of energy to maintain so we self-sabotage, procrastinate, freeze...it sounds like there is a bit of a conflict too in your values - what others think may be important to you, but is it more important than say your creativity, self-compassion, achievement, whatever your values are. This is an interesting activity (google "Values Sort") - you print these pages into cards and mix the 'deck' up. You have three piles - not important to me, important to me, and very important to me. The idea is to sort through all of the values cards as quickly as you can (don't think too much!) into those piles so that by the end you have only 10 cards in your 'very important to me' pile. Then sort those 10 in order of most to least important. Can you see any values in that pile that are actually someone else's and aren't that important to you? Do you see some that are imbalanced? It's a neat activity if you're up for it