I am still so confused. Therapy doesn't seem to be doing anything. I don't feel a connection, I don't feel understood, I don't feel like I'm learning about myself, and I don't feel like I'm actively working on goals. It's making me feel worse about my life.

So, what do you get from therapy? What feels good to you about it? What makes you want to go back, week after week?

When I think about logically, I think there are 3 possibilities:

1. Understanding, empathy, connection. I really hate saying this, but I don't get this reliably from my therapist. I think, sometimes, there's a flicker of it. But, it's almost like he's two people the quiet, stoic, non-responsive person and the one who actually is connect-able. But, whatever... I know what this feels like, I've gotten this from friends - where something bad happens, you tell them, and they empathize, and you feel better. But I don't feel like this with my T.

2. Learning about yourself. In theory, T should be awesome - much better than reading a book - since it's personalized to you! But, I don't feel like I'm getting this either! If I tell T about weird issues I'm having, or something I'm thinking, it would be interesting and helpful for him to be able to show me how it fits with me (whether how it relates to my history, how it fits with a particular diagnosis, or what pattern he sees). But I don't feel like I get any of THAT either. He's either quiet, or he tells me, "everybody does that!". It doesn't help.

3. We talked about goals. I think a T could be great for helping you work on goals and improve your life. But, the goals we talk about seem to disappear. He writes them down, and then they're gone forever! I don't know if *I'm* supposed to be doing something with them (we didn't discuss that), or if he's secretly plotting to spring them on me later, or what. So, I don't feel like there's current value here either.

I feel sad. Being in T has made me very aware of all the crazy, broken stuff in my life, but isn't really giving me any sense of hope that it's fixable, or feeling that I'm moving towards better. I think, this can't possibly be right? I don't know if *I'm* doing something wrong, or if it's my T, or if it's just a bad match. And, I hate to think that, because in some ways he's been a much better T than any of the others I've seen... if he was all bad, it would be an easier decision to leave.

Would love to hear... what keeps you going back to therapy? What do you get out of it? Why is it worth going, for you?

Thanks...