No-one deserves to pay in that way "afeelingd" and the fact that u are asking for help tells us that you KNOW that!
I have many thoughts about hurting myself at the moment that I have to fight. If they win , I get hurt and that's my choice.
There's a trend for the media to show unhappy people hurting other people - columbine, LINDT in Australia, British buses etc. Seeing all these angry people hurt others doesn't make it acceptable or normal!
You have to fight those feelings afeelingd because feeling something or thinking something doesn't make it real. And once you hurt someone u face criminal charges. Is that what u really want?
Go to yr hospital casualty/emergency and demand help PLEASE! You'll feel much better.

Please.