In less than 2 hours now my T will be turning her work phone off and will be heading to the the airport She is going to europe, scotland to be more specific for extra training in DBT. She does't get back until late on the 22nd Feb and I see her (if she comes back) on the 24th..

I am freaking out though cuz last time she went overseas it was only meant to be for 6 months but she stayed overseas for 9 months in total and what if she does it again this time and doesn't come back when she promised she will???? or worse what if she just doesn't come back at all??

I am already really struggling and not feeling safe and I have been trying to get onto the T I am seeing whilst mine is gone but of course she is not getting back to me.. I msged her a few days ago now! I just, I don't know what to do.. I just want to cry and drink and cut and I don't want to be here anymore. I don't think I can do this anymore.. but I am trying I am but I just don't know..

I don't really I don't know... it's not really fair for me to msg or call my T now either with it being so close to her turning her phone off and leaving

I can't do this