Not sure if anhedonia is the right word, anyway:

I think I understand now that some of my difficulties with life stem from not being able to feel joy over things in my past or things that are going to happen in the future. Like yesterday I had a very good time at a dinner party. I have no fond memories of that now. When I think about it I feel nothing positive, only stress. It's like that for all my memories, even the earliest ones that I have. And it's almost the same way when I think about the future. I can look forward to the end of things I currently dislike, e.g. looking forward till this vacation is over, or looking forward to not being around so many people anymore, or looking forward to not being awake anymore... But everything else feels either completely irrelevant or conjures up much stress. Like the way I am not looking forward to seeing my friends again, even though I feel lonely (i.e. if they were suddenly standing in my room I'd be really happy, but knowing I would see them again in 5 days, or maybe even 5 minutes, wouldn't make me happy at all). I just don't care about positives that aren't right here and right now.

I think the point of all this is that not viewing my future especially but also my past the way I feel I should, causes me to think much more negatively about future events and robs me of a lot of joy from remembering past events. I also think it might be why I try to avoid thinking about the future and the past - because it only leads to stress.

Does this resonate with anyone else?