hello all,

I wanted to share my experience with how my 'bipolar' was ultimately diagnosed and what led up to that point.

So, I'm 19 years old and I have mild anxiety....No big deal it can be pretty common especially among those starting college and being away from family/new environment etc...I go to the doctor for it and she STRONGLY recommends I be put on an Zofolt, which is primarily treated for depression and anxiety disorders. Even though I hesitated when this was prescribed, I ultimately end up swallowing those pills on a regular basis for the next couple months.

Strangely enough, I started having a hypo-manic episode a couple months after I initially took the med. **Keep in mind this is the FIRST med I've ever taking that was mental health related. Now, the next 4 months was a very self-destructive time period for me. I played college ball, quit the team because the guys and coaches were disrespecting me (Couldn't see things clearly), I cheated on my beautiful girlfriend of 2 years (multiple times) and gambled away over $1000 in money I didn't have. Not to mention isolating myself from all of my friends, receiving my lowest GPA in my college career (4 years) and this episode finally concluded after a vigorous 5 months.

Since then, I've been put on a cocktail of anti-depressants, anti-phsycotics, anti-convulsants and this and that. Some of these medications made things spiral out of control. My thoughts and behaviors would become very abnormal; I contemplated suicide, got kicked off a College summer league team in PA and these meds literally gutted my mental state.

I am now 22 years old and the medications have been reduced to the lowest they have ever been. I have ALWAYS been skeptical of the effectiveness and long term safety of these drugs. I never submitted to the claims of "this pre-existed in you all along" or "Its hereditary" or "You need life long medication." After years of reading every article on the planet related to mental illness and how medication is administered, I have concluded that these pharmaceutical companies are downright evil.

Their goal is simple (for these companies) -- You find somebody with a weakness (Mild anxiety, depression) and give them a antipsychotic, mode stabilizer or anti depressant and boom!! The drug they've given you may help initially but often times you develop side effects, you get suicidal or your behavior changes dramatically. To combat these things, you are often put on more medication until you find the 'right cocktail'. Haven't you heard that forever? "It takes a while to find the right meds." TRANSLATION: It takes a while for these meds to really **** your brain up, so take them long enough for us to treat you with other medications due to the side effects of the initial med.

For those folks that may be a little shell shocked or naive that this world ISN'T full of people (companies --$$) with great morals. You may think that this is too far-fetched, perhaps even impossible. Trust me folks, the further you dig, the further you will see that it is merely a hoax. Think bipolar at the core: A disorder that has ups and downs and needs to be CONSISTENTLY moderated and controlled through the use of medication throughout your ENTIRE LIFE. NEVER have I gone to the psychiatrists office and they suggested meditation, regular exercise, a healthy diet or other things that could contribute to a healthy mind.

With that being said, I do not endorse nor advocate those currently on medication to abruptly stop as that can SERIOUSLY lead to complications that are extremely unpleasant, potentially could lead to a manic episode. All i ask is some feedback...How were you diagnosed? Was it AFTER any other mental related medications? Was it BEFORE any meds? All i am telling you people is that you should dig deep, do your own research, connect the dots and make YOUR OWN decision on these drugs. All to often in this day and age we succumb to "doctors" in this field because they KNOW EVERYTHING. That's hilarious to me, I'm the one taking the meds....and I usually have little to no input on which meds I would like to try.

Anyhow, I am currently (and safely) tapering off tegretol and ultimately will be med free (other than modafinil ).

Good luck.