I know that for a lot of T's it really is a boundary that won't be crossed, and in a way he's demonstrating his integrity by sticking to that, although that's probably not helpful to hear...
If it is a deal breaker, then at least you know ow how important it is for you, and you can bring it up in initial enquiries with new T's. my friend had to have a t who hugged, so she emailed all potential T's to ask if they're huggers! Most said no, so she saved a lot of time. She found a good t btw and has lots of hugs