Hope this isn't too inappropriate for this forum, but I'm at my wits end and I really have no one I can talk to about this.

So - I've been married for 5 years now, but we've been together for 7. (no kids.) I'm married to a wonderful man, and he works hard to make me happy, and I really appreciate his efforts and the things he does to make me smile and keep me cheerful. He knows that I struggle with depression, but we always work together and talk out any problems we encounter, and that does help.

Here's the problem - I used to love sex. I mean loooooove it. Anytime, mostly anywhere, and I was hot and raring to go at the drop of a hat.

For at least the last year, I've just had no interest. I still love my husband very much, but I guess I'm just not attracted to him anymore. No matter what I do, I can't get 'in the mood'. I've tried watching porn, playing with toys, self love, nothing seems to work. I don't even enjoy masturbation anymore.

This is causing big problems for my relationship. Hubby feels rejected, and he's always having to hold back so he doesn't hurt me. When we do have sex, I have a hard time getting or staying worked up (read - being lubricated enough for sex to be comfortable), and unfortunately even lubricants like ky jelly don't seem to help. My sex experience now ranges from awkward and uncomfortable to severely painful, sometimes with bleeding afterwards.

One thing we've tried to alleviate this issue is having me masturbate first, and try to get myself worked up a bit so that way penetration is not so difficult. But this isn't really a good solution for a few reasons. 1. With no interest or desire for sex, it's difficult for me to get myself off, even with my favorite vibrator and 2. I don't feel very loved and it's not very considerate that he won't even try to work me up first. It makes sex feel like a one way street instead of the beautiful expression of our partnership that it should be. And even when he does try to get me excited and turned on, for hours sometimes, my body just doesn't respond like it used to.

Another part of the problem is that our libidos seem to be on opposite schedules. He's a morning person, waking up at least an hour before I do, and the first thing on his brain is SEX. I NEVER feel sexy in the mornings. If I ever do feel horny, it's at night before bed - and then he's always too tired to be interested.

I've had a pelvic exam, because I thought maybe it was something wrong with my plumbing. Got a clean bill of health. I even had a blood test thinking that maybe my thyroid levels were off, making my desire low. Also clean bill of health there - so it's not a physical ailment. I am not on any anti-depression meds (tried them in high school, they never did any good for me.)

I guess I just need some support and some new ideas for things I can do to make this better. Like I said, I'm at my wits end here, and I really don't want to lose my husband over this. I'm not attracted to anyone else, so why can't I just like sex like I used to?