You are not a bad person, or a stupid person. We all have done "stupid" or "bad" things. Comes with being human. But these are behaviors and not who we are.

I too have wondered if an eating disorder is just another form of self-harm. It appears to be because of how truly harmful the behaviors can be.

Why do you feel you need to be punished or hurt? Why specifically not eating? What has happened in your life to have taught you these things?