Quote:
Originally Posted by striking
That time alone, after you've been out, finding those creeping feelings of depression, loneliness, dread, coming out from under the rock they have been hiding under that very soon overcome whatever joy you found being out enjoying yourself. It happens often enough so that I am certain it is just not a random event.
I crave being alone but I fear the loneliness. Freedom from anxiety but susceptible to depression. That balance that is never quite attainable.
Maybe it's time for a breakdown, just let it wash out as I take a long shower. It seems to come easier there and it has been awhile for me. The warmth of the water, the nakedness, the isolation knowing you will not be disturbed or heard, all probably help in allowing for this happen.
Sorry, been struggling with this since yesterday and ended up talking too much about myself.
I debated posting this but I know other residents feel this way as well. So why do you think this feeling of anxiety, depression, panic comes after you have been social? Why does the positive experience fleetingly disappear? Any ideas?
I have read about it possibly being borderline or dependent personality related.
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Hi striking,
I think it's all just depression. Depression does sneak up on you while you're not paying attention. Suddenly, you're in it again, at least for a while.
On the surface, social situations are supposed to be fun. They can be, but, also, as social animals, our social status is important for our very survival. Even slight negative cues in such situations can be very significant and can be very threatening and stressful. When I was depressed but sort of functioning, I would often enjoy the start of social events but end up feeling horrible and trapped and helpless by the end.
- vital