Well... He sort of blew me off... And then I complained and I think other people complained, too, and so he gave out numeric answers to the problems he'd set (but still not really any workings).

I emotionally disengaged. I... This is a bad habit kind of thing... But I can't work for someone who... Doesn't respect me. Someone who thinks they can ignore me because I'm talking just to talk. Someone who thinks that I don't know what is best for my learning. Someone who is more interested in being defensive than in helping motivated people learn. Someone who can't focus on what is important and not invest in irrelevant side-issues. Someone who...

I found most of them teaching Secondary School... Some of them in a Community College type of environment... I was shocked to find some of them at University... Mostly teaching the first year science classes... Not the continuing classes (Physics for Physics majors, chemistry for chemistry majors etc) but the classes that are more at High School level... The remedial classes, I guess.

I do get that it can be hard to tease apart issues of cognitive development more generally from ability when they are found together... So... If a 7 year old can do those problems but you need to hide the answers from them because they don't have the impulse control to prevent cheating... But to think this might be true of 18 year olds? Ones who are working their butts off to get into engineering? Don't get me wrong... The history of this program (actually a relatively new program) has a bit of a poor track record of setting people up well for engineering.... And that will be partly because people's backgrounds (their particular holes in their knowledge) are diverse... But it is also partly because the teachers aren't able to focus on getting through the material that IS required in comprehensible ways... Lightening the cognitive load for the students as much as possible so the students can patch up the holes they find along the way... And maybe the students are too lazy / stupid to do that... But if you provide the oppportunity... You have done everything that is your ****ing job to do and you can feel... Content.. With yourself for that. Instead of it being the case that the kids didn't learn stuff because you didn't do your job properly (e.g., you didn't present the material in a learnable fashion).

AAAaaarrgh.

And this, folks, is (a huge part of) why tech didn't work out for me. This is the last class that will be like this... I tell myself.

I have this 'objective' worry... Med school is going to be full of experiences of working under people who... Suck. By all accounts. Thing is... I know I can work under people who are focused on doing their jobs... It is those who are disengaged from their subjects... If they don't care... Why should I? Maybe it is partly biting off ones nose...

I have a test tomorrow. I should be working through problems to prepare... I just... Don't care, anymore. 2 more weeks of it... Break... Then into this year for real. This year is a big deal. They put a lot into their teaching. For the best kids... They wouldn't dare feed them this ****.