Hi there,
I feel I may have become oversensitized to fear.. I had to grow up fearing my dad and I think there came a point where I figured I wasn't going to deal with fear anymore - so these days (my whole life, really) whenever I've felt really scared of doing something, I just haven't done it. I've preferred letting go of whatever it is I've wanted so as to not have to be afraid.
This is really making my life difficult. I suffer from social phobia and am scared to death of being physically close to people. I manage to go to the shop to buy food but travelling by train or sitting in lectures has become impossible for me - the closer the interaction with other people might be, the worse I feel. I'm scared to death of making a fool of myself in front of others, and whenever I do, or think I have done, or even fear I might in a matter of minutes, I get an upset stomach - embarrassing..! Whenever I'm thinking of signing up for a class, I find myself checking to see what kind of classroom it's being held in, and if it's a really small space, or one where you have to sit close to someone else, and you can't leave unnoticed, I won't take the course - even if I'm required to!
I don't want to keep sitting at home watching my life pass me by.. Any thoughts, anyone? Has anyone else ever felt like they're afraid of their own fear?! Whenever I get scared, it's like every single nerve ending in my body is on fire.. It's terrifying. So I'd rather just not do anything that scares me too much - but when what scares me too much is being in small spaces with other people, avoidance doesn't really work - I have to be able to get a job and I'd like to be able to make friends and find someone to share my life with and have a family! What should I do..
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