hi,
i would like to get a little help in here.want to know if i have depression.i have taken a number of online quizes & they all say i have it.my situation doesnt allow me to consult a therapist.i dont feel bad everyday.but most of the days i feel so sad.i end up lying on my bed thinking all the negative stuff.i have a loving family.but i cant open up to any of them.i am afraid everyone will hurt me somehow.feels like no one can ever love me & i am BAD.Really bad.i hate myself the most.i have been molested a number of times during my chilhood& teenage.i dont love anyone sincerely.i doubt everyone.my moods change for no reason.certain nights i end up crying for no reason.at times i have injured myself.not with an intension to die...just because it feels good.most of the days i wish if i were dead.i have lost track of my life.once i was a bright student.now i hate books & am a poor performer.i dont use drugs.no smoking.certain days i dont feel hungry.sometimes i eat a lot.its difficult for me to fall asleep certain days.but other times i sleep for hours.my sex drive also keeps changing.sometimes i cry while masturbating.dont know why.sometimes i feel all alone,worthless & ugly.there are times i enjoy with friends.only i know this sad part of me.i wear a happy face infront of others.am just confused if am depressed or not.how is depression like?what do you feel?do post it here.thanks