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Old Feb 07, 2015, 09:31 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bklynjunebug View Post
Hi, I'm new here. I'm a 37 year old female with bipolar 1 and I'm hoping to have a baby sans manic episode. Mostly I deal with depression but I've been hospitalized twice in the last ten years for severe mania (psychotic episodes) and I'm terrified of it happening again. I'm hoping to find at least 1 woman who is in similar shoes as me and who has had a baby. I'm worried about taking meds and of going off them. I'm worried about all the hormonal changes and how that will effect my mood and I'm worried about the first few months of having the baby and getting a lot less sleep. If there's anyone here who has been through this please let me know how your experience was! Thank you so much!
I am 31 years old with Bipolar 1 and 3 children. With my first two children, I had rejected my diagnosis and was not taking medications. With my first pregnancy (my first daughter), I was often raging and just blamed it on hormones and then I had postpartum depression pretty severely. I can't remember having any psychosis but if I did, I would not have recognized it as such and it would have been mild. My second pregnancy (my son) was much easier and I was hypo-manic afterward. Then, when my son was two, I had a had a major manic episode and became psychotic, followed my a major breakdown. I couldn't deny I was bipolar anymore. Back on medication and still very unstable, my psychiatrist advised my husband and I to "be real" about my illness and having any more children. Just a few weeks after that conversation, I became pregnant again (2nd daughter--unplanned). I was taking Lamictal and Abilify but later, in my second trimester, had to go back on lithium. This pregnancy was a nightmare. My moods were all over the place. When she was born, I suffered from postpartum psychosis and ended up in the hospital when she was only seven weeks old. I had my tubes tied after this last pregnancy. I also had 2 miscarriages and, during one of those pregnancies (12 weeks), I was also psychotic (although I had become psychotic before the pregnancy, it just made things worse). I think children are an amazing blessing and I would have all of these struggles over again.

I know my story may be discouraging but I just want you to know your fears could be realized. That shouldn't stop you (unless it is your choice). If you are going to conceive, be under close supervision of a psychiatrist and maybe see a therapist regularly as well. Make a plan of what ifs and how you will handle those what ifs. Research your medications and know how they will effect your pregnancy and your baby. Be VERY careful coming off of your meds though because the hormones will already have a major effect on your body and your illness and the lack of meds (especially if you are stable on them) can cause greater harm than good. Discuss this in detail with your doctor. If you don't like what your doctor has to say about medications in pregnancy, find another one. I did. I know it is just one example, but I took several medications (including lithium) during my last pregnancy and my daughter has no repercussions. I wish you well!
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
Thanks for this!
violet66