Welcome to PC natedawgfrizzle! We are glad you have joined us. It's too bad that you feel so bad about yourself. I am pretty sure that you are being too hard on yourself. Trying to compete with male models is not a good thing to do. Normal people can not compete with that. Your height is great and I will bet that you are every bit as handsome as people say you are. You just can't see it the way they can. Are you in counseling? If not you might want to give that a try. A T could help you work out the issues that have you feeling so bad about yourself.