I want to get some advice on being depressed and hopeless about life for good reason. If I ought to be unhappy I'm wondering what I should do to feel better.

1) pretty severe schizoaffective disorder that has left me publicly humiliating myself and my family for 10 years or longer
2) criminal record (nothing horrible but I am ashamed of some of it as above)
3) destroyed marriage and still emotionally damaged 10+ years later
4) overweight
5) balding
6) no job or prospects for job
7) embarrassing and visible tattoo from delusional state
8) adverse reactions to Zyprexa which is still the only antipsychotic i've been able to tolerate
9) expectations and hopes for romance are extremely out of perspective and when i realize i won't find a woman like my ex-wife or my better ex-girlfriends I feel worse, because i was unhappy with them anyway
10) tend to freeze up and be unable to accomplish even small things, apartment is a horrible mess

I realize there's no point being unhappy over what can't be changed, I don't have the motivation to change what I can and should. I know I'm not alone but I feel like my life is destroyed and my mind being so rotten is the worst part of it. I can't count on myself. Any advice? I feel very bad.