Second day in a row of feeling crappy again. I wish I would have kept that ECT appointment for tomorrow, but when I cancelled I was feeling good -- or at least as well as can be expected.

I'm so tired of feeling this glum. It's just not fair. In reading earlier posts, I see that I've been depressed since August of 2013. That means if I'm still depressed by this August, that will be 2 years. Two years since I've felt real joy and contentment! If I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, I am!

I'm very envious of people who don't suffer from depression. I know jealously doesn't help at all, but it's a legitimate feeling I have. We went to see American Sniper yesterday, and I kept thinking during the movie how depressed I felt. Not good. But at least I went. I have to keep trying to make myself feel better, even if it seems repeated attempts fail.

Anyway, going to brunch today with my husband and his family. Not sure what else is on the agenda.