Thank you for sharing this. The whole time I was reading your post I was thinking "are you me?".
Sometimes I feel like therapy is making me worse and then I read stuff here about how the attachment and transference will lessen at some point. Well it's been 6 months and it's as painful as ever.

So it gives me hope to read a post like yours.
Like you I hate being dependent (I have issues about control), so I've decided that I need to stop doing this to myself: I've blocked her account and her kids accounts on Facebook, I've stopped looking at her website. It's hard, like you say but maybe there's a way out of this mess?
I need to keep busy instead of reliving each session every week. It's hard to do that when you're depressed though.