Quote:
Originally Posted by Helpbritt1
10 years ive been here for her,,,therapist trips..rehab s paid for,,,esuicide attempts.,mental hospital stays ....emotional support ,,finacial support. My love..my prays...and in the end she sits telling therapists today in a family session I abused her...sad to say another way to take the blame off her self and make herself the victim...I cant do this anymore..and no matter what happens I know ive done my best..I now need to detach with love,,my heart is broken
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Well ... Did You?
Of course, only you know the "real" answer to that, but with the classic "After All I've Done For You" line you tossed out up there, it certainly makes me wonder ... And if you did, then she IS a "victim" and y'all (both parents) need to quit doing things that help keep her in that role!
Y'all chose to have the child, not the other way around, and it sounds as if she's had to accept the blame for her parent's failed relationship (while they used her as a pawn to keep hurting each other) when the fact is the parents should have shielded and protected her as much as possible from the wounds caused from it all in the first place.
So, perhaps letting go with this love you speak of is best as it will give you both distance and time to reflect on who exactly is to blame for what so everyone can come to terms with it and heal and move on as best as they can.
Whether or not the relationship is permanently broken remains to be seen, but I can tell you this ... As long as you keep spitting out those little darts of guilt and shame at her, no progress will be made because a wound that keeps getting ripped open won't ever heal.
As far as all the time, money and energy y'all've expended trying to help her get well ...
REALITY CHECK FORTHCOMING!
It's YOUR job (as parents) to take care of her, not HER job (as your child) to take care of y'all ...
Therefore, it would also help if you'd quit throwing all that up in her face as well.
Sincerely,
Pfrog!
