Thanks for the replies. Yes schizo-affective disorder could play a role but I'm not usually given to depression.

I think it's quite a normal feeling after coming out of a long psychotic break/episode and seeing the consequences. However, it is very overwhelming.

I wonder how people with a very bad lot in life normally deal with it, is the thing. Where do they find the strength and resilience to cope?

i really appreciate the positive feedback. i don't feel that bad usually (i admit i smoke marijuana and it helps a lot) but sometimes tough to accept the situation, a little anyway.