I dont think this is experienced only by avoidants. To me it sounds more like, re-enacting the past, trying to get it to come out right this time. I became avoidant because i couldnt afford to get burned again! You are right, those initial bad tracks are laid down very deep and sticky. It is hard to find a therapist willing to work with us to lay down new tracks, because it is so easy to jump the tracks over to the bad set!

I had to rewrite my entire life story. That is, the incidents remained the same, but i had to stop making excuses for people. I had to accept that yes, people acted hatefully towards me. Also that i was less than pleasant, and look at other weird things about myself. Its like shaking a kaleidoscope - the same bits, but a different picture emerges. Which one is true? Which one is more true to you?