Hi kray bray may, In my eyes that just said that you wanted to live, obviously that doesn't just flick a "happy" switch and maybe the depression is still there, but you wanted to live. And wanting to live is not "weak", is not "cowardly".
And now........well it's good that you're still around, so as now hopefully some more support with the depression, or what led you to those thoughts, might help you through what you've been finding so hard.
And you know you've found a great place to come for understanding, advise, support...........so hang with us, yes?? Things can get better.
And anytime you want to talk..............

Alison