I always face fear. I shouldn't be alive, three times over, but I am. Because of my anxiety and my depression and my low socioeconomic status, I shouldn't be in grad-school either, but I am; an it is too damn scary. I always go through it, 4.0, yes, I'm proud, and yes, I'm boasting, and yes, I'm also man enough to say that I'm scared. Of the future, of the uncertainty, of failure, I'am afraid. Pissing my pants, I go right through it anyway. And I simply don't know why. I still do not know if I can make it. The uncertainty kills me, man. It makes me very tired. The energy simply drains when you keep pushing. I am tired.