Please stop.

I appreciate that all of you are concerned for me. I've said time and time again that I do not want a trauma T right now. I said that I'm overwhelmed with my schedule and my life and the treatment I already have. One might argue that the best time to start therapy is when you're stressed out and really need it. Maybe that's true, maybe that isn't true. I'm telling you that I feel overwhelmed and that I do not feel ready to start confronting the trauma. That is a huge emotional commitment that I do not feel ready to give yet.

Anyone has all the right in the world to disagree with me and think that I'm making a huge mistake. Pointing out that what I'm saying is wrong or problematic is one thing. Ganging up on me and turning my threads about LCM into a "let's piss on growlithing's life choices" fest isn't appreciated nor is it working. I'm not going to be pressured into doing something I don't feel ready to do.

Yes, I was drunk and said weird ****. I am sorry for whomever I might have triggered in anyway with those posts. However, at least I posted here instead of messaging guys again. I think that's an improvement.

All I want is support. I actually do want criticism as well, however, at this point, it doesn't even feel like criticism. It feels like when your mother blames everything on being on the computer too long. "Mom, I'm tired" "shouldn't have been up all night on the computer". "Mom, my throat hurts" "it's that damn computer again". "PC, I miss LCM" "get a real T". "PC, LCM made me sad" "that's because she sucks and you need a trauma T". "PC, I'm drunk and horny" "none of this would happen if you had a trauma therapist"

Seriously