I quit smoking and it's really really hard..since jan 15..and had a smoke today because I just could not deal with all the pressure.

Mom's cancer is worst than I thought..having to deal with this is very emotional...she's going to start treatments soon..lung cancer stage 3b around the aorta...not good..there is so much to think about, to organize and I feel there's not going to be so much help.

with me having an episode this year, now this..the fact that my partner works days, I work nights..we don't get to much quality time together and every single weekend I'm having yoyo emotions going from being grrr to crying...

yes I'm taking my meds...

at work everybody gets on my nerves..it does not take much for me to feel aggravated or sad..I feel I work with robot who have no emotions or compassion

Mom's memory is bad, she's having a hard time thinking...

many say let me know what I can do...yea right...

soon I will be moving in with her because she won't be able to be alone during her treatments...It,s going to get harder and harder and I must be strong and not fall to pieces because when I'm nervous she feels nervous but I can't hide my bloody emotions...ahhhhhhhh

I'm having trouble sleeping, can't stop thinking..I would stay up all night go to bed at 6am..get up a 2h30 pm go to work..no life...

I need to destress and spend time doing something good...and stop worrying about mom, money, the fear of cycling again...ahhhhhhhhhhhh