Don't take this personally. Many therapists feel uneasy about holding client's hand and would refuse to do so. This has to do with the fact that many times this gesture is misused and is done for the wrong reasons, therefore, they aren't sure if the client really needs it or if she is just testing their boundaries. When the gesture is being misinterpreted, the therapist can potentially get in trouble. In our society, where anyone can sue anyone for anything, physical touch in therapy, no matter how innocent it may be and even if it is used for therapeutic purposes, seems like a slippery slope for many therapists.

It's clear that for you hand holding is therapeutic and it wouldn't be wrong for a therapist to allow you to hold their hand in session. At the same time, it's also not wrong for a therapist to do the work within their own comfort zone. As upsetting as it is for you, the therapist has the right to stick with his way of doing the work. Discuss it with him in session and see if this dilemma can be resolved. If you feel that what you need is essential for you and can't be replaced by anything else, ask if your T can refer you to someone else, who'd be willing to fulfill your request.