hey... transference, yeah.

those feelings we have as kids... the anger, sadness, pain, fear, humiliation, rage, lonliness etc

i've got them too. it can be hard to express them. i get a mental picture of a dog lying on the ground exposing its belly. therapist standing over one... will the therapist lick me (so to speak) and allow me to get up, or will he go for my belly with his teeth? scary, yeah.

i think i got the courage to express my vulnerability to my therapist because the session before i was being really very oppositional / defiant / critical (asserting my seperateness from him) and he was trying to figure out what i needed (by saying various things to try and meet different self-object needs and then observing my reaction). at one point he kind of idealised me and i got this mental picture of him as a dog lying on the ground exposing his belly to me. i'd been giving him a hard time all session and yet... he did that. so i got up the courage to tell him about my vulnerability over the next week...

when one expresses vulnerability and it is well received then a wonderful sense of connection and safety and love arises. it can be really very hard to take that risk, however. teeth. one must be wary of the teeth.

> So when I get angry at T--like I was after last week's session...

maybe you are testing to see if he will use his teeth?

i hope... i so hope...
that he doesn't criticise you for expecting too much.
that he doesn't get defensive trying to protect himself from your onslaught.

i hope...

he listens to your concerns and takes them seriously...
and shows you that he won't use his teeth.

then maybe... with that sense of safety... you will be able to share some of your vulnerability with him...

and a wonderful sense of connection will arise

i so hope.