I am just in need of some support right now. I am T-less at the moment. Well actually I'm in a outpatient program but I had to leave my individual T for being abusive. It's harder than I thought not having my individual T around. I am getting close to the end of my outpatient program and I made some progress but I can feel myself regressing and I am really scaring myself. This week I had to get stitches for a SI cut. I have never gotten to the point of needing stitches before. My parent flipped out on me and made the entire situation for me worse. I feel so horrible for putting them through this. My dad has taken enough of a toll on our family with his alcoholism, they don't need to deal with my depression on top of it all.

I feel like the clinicians at the program are starting not take me seriously. One of them called me manipulative last week which really stuck a nerve. I mean, they did send me to the hospital twice which I lied at the ER to get out of because I was just too scared to go. I'm really not trying to manipulate anyone, I am just scared and trying to figure out what I need to do to get better. I don't know what else I need and its really frustrating. If anyone actually read this, thank you. I feel so alone and helpless right now.