Secret, now that I've had time to read this thread in depth here is what I think.

I also was part of a message board for a few years and oh yes it is so hard to keep up. In fact, keeping up was impacting my job, home life and was causing me major stress. I would complain all the time to my husband about the "trolls" or the nasty comments to me and others, political arguments and mommy wars. The mommy wars were the worst.

One example would be 'oh my you circumsized your son!' how barbaric or 'you are not going to breastfeed until junior is 6 years old, wow some mother you are'...I'm dramatizing this a bit but you get the point.

I'm done with that site and find this site more fitting for me and much more positive and genuine.

To me, it is healthy being here learning about ourselves and trying to heal. If you think about it, other message boards can actually trigger us way too much during our healing process.

A kind of 'transference' through the internet too perhaps. Either positive or negative...it sounds like you are experiencing some of the negative right now.

I still think it will be good to take a break for awhile. Since the finality of it is causing abrupt mourning, why not just say 'hey, I'm taking a break for awhile for me'...

And you could replace the time spent on instant messenger with something relaxing like reading one of the famous psych books we talk about here or doing some guided imagery.

I did a slow and gradual release from the message board and now I do not miss it at all.

Hugs~