Let's just call me narcissistic and bluntly remind me what happened to me because that's productive and clearly not triggering for someone who is obviously trying to run away and forget that. Because I think everyone who knows my story and reads my posts can tell I try really hard to not remember that.

Yes, I know that plays into my fantasies. I hate admitting it. I don't want him to have that power anymore. Yeah, I did only run away from talking to men because I started having really bad flashbacks.

However, coming online with s host of problems that I don't want to acknowledge or think about and posting on a forum, desperately looking for support and not really knowing how to get it isn't narcissistic.