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pinksoil said:

Then we discussed the significance in my made-up session. I told him how I wish, even if it it was only for one day, he could be the one attached, and I would reciprocate nothing. He asked me what that would look like to me. I told him-- you would say.... "I'm so attached and afraid of rejection!!"... and I would say... "Uh-huh. That must be hard."

When I told him this, he winced and said, "Ow!" I asked him why he had such a strong reaction and he told me because he can feel what I mean.

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I like what you shared here Pink. I wish I could share it with my T. But I know he won't say what your T did. He'll say 'it is much better to feel the pain'or something similar...and I'll cry.

Anyway, this was an excellent interpretation of your feelings about him in a way he understood.

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pinksoil said:
I told him how I feel all this emotion for him... and how he doesn't have to feel anything in reciprocation.

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This is so how I feel too. Please someone give me the courage to say this next session...which isn't until Fri of next week.

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pinksoil said:
Then all of a sudden, I realized something... so I told him that I figured something out-- that the little 'ideal' session I had written out was not just a one time occurence-- Whenever I am with him, I have an idealistic scenario that plays in my head, along with what's really going on. I told him that during his interpretation, the whole time I was getting mad because I had this idealistic scenario in my head of him saying, "Well of course I think about you during the week! Of course I am completely attached to you too!" And since the reality of what he was saying didn't match the fantasy I created, I got mad.

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Very insightful of you!! My T uses this word with me 'idealistic' and how I value and devalue my marriage. Maybe based on a mood or incident I don't know yet.

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pinksoil said:
Then he asked me if it's okay with me if he makes mistakes sometimes. I told him that it was completely okay b/c it's the best way for me to accept that he is human, and not completely idealistic. Then he said that he also has a lot to learn from me. I told him that his orignial interpretation wasn't that bad, and he said, "Actually, it was pretty lame." LOL.

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I love this exchange completely. He gets you Pink! Here he lets you in by saying he isn't perfect and makes mistakes too. He then tells you that he sees you as someone to learn from and not just teach to...wow! I'm so glad you had such a good session like this one.