I always confronted my H about everything....never kept anything in so I don't know why he kept trying....maybe hoping that the next time he could hide things better.....but in my case, I'm sure that his mind with Asperger's just doesn't think normal which was why every time I confronted him about anything his answer was always "I don't know" or "whatever". I realize it now, but I didn't then & he just kept making me more angry every time I had to deal with him. At least I understand the reason...doesn't make me want to tolerate it any more than I did then, but understanding why the brain isn't capable of thinking wisely at least makes me feel better than thinking that he was doing it intentionally to irritate me or that he was just being stupid because he wanted to be that way. Doesn't make his behavior right, but at least there is some level of understanding of where it came from.

It is important to confront them & not just hold in the anger. I'm glad you stopped the loan....that would have made getting a divorce all that much more complicated. The assets & liabilities split is complicated enough IMO & for me, walking away was the easiest even though I find myself at times resenting him for his behavior & for loosing everything I owned for those 33 years & the one who caused the divorce gets everything.....but I let it go soon after the thought pops into my brain because my freedom & the wonderful friends I have now are more valuable than any of those things.

I do hope that therapy is helping you....I know that the therapy I had while in my bad marriage was useless....it wasn't until I got out & was free that my mind was free enough to look back without constant irritants continually bugging me....now I can see the past so much more clearly & I have now had wonderful T's who have helped me pull the threads together & see the picture of what was really going on.